"Here we go again, infatuation...."- Green Day

"Here we go again, infatuation...." - Green Day


Momentary infatuation breads spontaneous results for the exchange of long-term goals for new alternatives that breathe a difference into the basis breadth of live. However, that just sounds like a bunch of schizo-bull. Anyway(1), being in a band looks good for spontaneous thrills, but continual touring would get old fast. In fact, any repeated activity results in a loss of interest. For anything in this world to be fun, it must be different. But, often the basic desire is to participate in an activi ty which bears a strong resemblance to one that has already been participated in, primarily because it is easier, and it also creates a strong extra-sensory perception, in a way similar to this paper.

College looks like an interesting way to fulfill some goals. However, avoiding the Wilsonian paradox should remain of key importance. My Philosophy teacher did explain it in a cool way, though: "If you go to school long enough they'll pay you just to sit around and think." Thus, the more school you attend the easier it becomes later on. Maybe. The job might be easier, but if it's extremely boring it doesn't really matter how easy it is. In fact, it's better to have a hard and boring job than an ea sy, boring, job because the hard job takes more out of you to complete, and thus alleviates some of the inherent boredom.

On a totally unrelated subject, it seems possible to train your body to do what you wish it to do, to an extent. The first few instances of extended sleep deprivation result in overwhelming grogginess. However, after a few more attempts, the grogginess disappears, and soon it becomes possible to feel fine with only a small amount of sleep. Maybe you still feel the grogginess, but are able to escape from it. However, the natural wake cycle does usually occur. I can't remember using my alarm much this semester. It seems if I tell myself to wake up, I do. Wow! I slipped back into first person. Cool. Anyway(2), back to the regularly scheduled paper. It is great to have ultimate control. This also has to do with the ultimate foods - spaghetti and cheese. It's great not having to put up with the atrocious cafeteria, meal-plan food.

This computer room just doesn't cut it. It's like the cafeteria - trying to please all results in a degree of displeasure. It is cheaper than a computer, though, and does prevent spontaneous wastes of time. (I have a guitar for that now.) Sometimes, however, I'd just rather be swimming, but the swimming pool never seems to be open at the times that I'd like to swim. I guess I'm just cursed. And swimming is one of those things that feels kind of strange when you are all alone in a giant swimming poo l. (But it's a lot worse when you are stuck in a lane with four slow swimmers who like to wear cologne in the pool. That smell ruins the great odor of chlorine.) Back to the computer room; the main thing it lacks is music. However, I'm suffering from musical overload at the present, so I guess that's ok.

Last night I went to the Green Day concert. That was interesting. It continued the cycle of each concert getting progressively (regressively) cheaper than the one before it. This one, I got a ride in with the opening band, then had to go pick up Green Day, the headliners at a gas station. Once we got there, we went in through the back door and popped up on stage to talk with the guys in the 2nd opening band. They (Yuck) seemed real cool, thus prompting me to buy their tape. Rugburn wasn't quite as good, but they did give me a ride. There was also a fun slide to go down there. It was also a strange experience to o to a show without anyone I really knew. In people I knew best were the band members. Talk about a major change from the U2 concert. Man! I wish I could type faster than this. That is one of my biggest weaknesses. I never really learned how to type, but after doing it for so long, I got down a kinda fast pseudo-touch typing method. I guess my swimming ability would be a lot like th at, too. In fact just about everything is like that. I get spontaneously infatuated with something, and do it for a while, until I get halfway-decent at it. I might get a few helps here and there as I go through it, but it's a lot less stressful than t rying to formally learn something with tests. In fact, when the EMS people asked me what the most stressful event in my life was, I couldn't think of anything that really caused stress. I guess that might be kinda cool or boring. It's like having a lif e of jello right at the coloidization point -it can easily move and flow over to something, and seem to be solid there, but not really. However, there are some things that are just plain stupid, like self-indulgent behaviors - drinking, smoking, etc. Th ey also tend to make you sick, both immediately, and in the long term. So why do people do it? I guess they're just dumb. People do have a habit of being extremely stupid.

Swimmers, on the other hand, (I really hate using that method of transition, but when I left off in mid-paper, it became a necessity to help regain my train of thought), have a habit of being real cool, unless they get drunk or stupid. Chlorine is also a most triumphant chemical, with a great odor. It probably has some effect on the mind, numbing the blind inhibitions, and causing a spontaneous (gee, I dig that word.) infatuation (another word I dig) with whatever happens to be associated in the mind a t the present the contact is made. Swimming extremely relaxing, unless you are a real swimmer then it begins to stress you out. However, I am more of a runner than a swimmer so swimming remains a primary source of relaxation. Running is a activity that stresses out the body in a good way. Often, it takes a long time to get psyched up to run, and once started, it is difficult to keep going with a strong pace. However, once the run is completed, and you have a few minutes to recover from the trashy fee ling, you feel much better than you did before you started out. It also helps you to get to sleep. Without running, it takes forever to get to sleep. However, staying up late, and running enables you to get to sleep faster. Thus the time spent running is time saved in the going to sleep process, so you end up with a net neutralization of time. Furthermore, while running, your thoughts are constantly pounded by sensory perception, thus dull thoughts can be amplified by the senses to create more pleasu rable ones. However, while sleeping, your mind is staring at blackness, and thus has to supply everything itself. Sometimes, this can provide the optimal situation for innovative new thoughts. However, an many occasions, the mind falls into a rut and h as to reanalyze many old thoughts or voyage out on stupid fantastical voyages that might be pleasing at the moment, but eventually reach ruts of their own.

Too much of anything is inherently bad. I even got sick of bagels and orange juice. They still are good food, but a perpetual diet of them just leads to sickness. Obtaining a goal isn't the ultimate pleasure; the desire to obtain is. On second though t, obtaining the goal does bring about a great deal of pleasure. However, this is a short-lived sensory overload. Soon, the pleasure is gone, and new, more loftier goal needs to be set. In some cases the new goal may be too excessive thus bring about d epression when it is failed to be reached. However, many other times it is reachable, thus the goal stuff might actually work. (Dude! I'm coming to a new philosophy in the middle of this paper, how weird.) It is important to pay attention to the goal though. In superficial things, it may be good to make a goal you can make steady progress towards they never actually achieve, just so you can have a feeling of continual elation without suffering the setback. Unfortunately, sometimes you subconsciously set stupid goals that you inadvertently succeed. (For instance, the goal I set of making one B my freshman year - I wanted to make it in a PE class [but alas, it was against my moral fabric (that I indoctrinated my high school counselor with) to take a PE credit for a grade; and I didn't take any PE classes my first semester [oops, that sentence didn't quite make sense. Oh well, I'll let the language philosophers worry about that])] instead I made it math - the class in which I always seemed to excel [as witnessed by the numerous plaques, trophies, and certificates my mom has a habit of digging up.])

Anyway(3?) doing well academically was something that happened accidentally and purposeful. Constantly moving around through my early childhood, I was very introverted, and thus slow to make new friends. Most of the friends I had bored me, so I didn't spend an excessive amount of time playing. (Well, actually I did, until my dad brought home a computer. And in fact, I still was outside continually until we moved to Texas.) Alright, so that really didn't bring about anything. I was fascinated by all sorts of stuff that my dad brought home, and did extremely well on most of my tests. Then, there was sometime either in junior high or high school where I decided I wanted to be valedictorian. Then, in high school, I definitely wanted to just to make a speech and to not go to A&M. Public speaking is a blast, as long as you don't take it seriously. you can get up there and say whatever you want, and people enjoy it. If you worry, you usually end up embarrassing yourself and boring your audience. As long as it is short and different it will be interesting. Some professors could sure use a lot of training in real public speaking. However, more often than not they are trained in theoretical speaking without regard to the requirements of reality. One of the most important things to remember when speaking is to avoid the ego trip.

Overreaching egos are one of the greatest detriments to our society. Many horrendous things occur because people think about themselves instead of others. Liberal policies that force people to 'help' others are even worse. Instead we should drop a lot of that out, and just carry out policies that wouldn't be able to be done on an individual basis, and leave most of the individual stuff up to the individuals. People also tend to care too much about what other people think. A simple dose of "I don't c are/I don't care/I don't care" will go a long way towards helping someone to succeed in life. At A&M there seem to be way to many people wearing tight clothes. I don't see how they could be comfortable, thus they are probably wearing them to be fashiona ble. (of course this is an over-generalization. I actually have known some people who like to where clothes that come in contact with their body at nearly every location. However I still prefer to wear drapery - clothes that cover my body, but contact it in as few places as possible, and eventually fashion got out of that early-80s rut and adopted my style. Hair should also be free, and long enough so that the sweat droplets flop in the bangs and get in to your eyes. And, as Anna and Amanda decided, it should be floppy. And while on the subject of them, it would be interesting to see others perception of yourself (I mean myself, but I just slipped into second person.) Hearing Kathy talk about Anna, I realized who she was, but it wasn't until much l ater that I finally made the realization public. However, with 'Annanda', I was clueless, until I finally had it explained. However, my reaction was the same as the earlier case. Thus, I had a great deal of secret knowledge (or possibly secret disknowl edge. I better break the parenthesis now. I still have another set to get through.) I wonder how often other people do that. Another thing related to a lot of stuff up there is saying stuff. The fact that I was Tiffany's lab partner would have really freaked out Jonathan, however, nothing requiring me to mention it ever came up in the normal course of conversation, thus I never mentioned it, and he didn't find out until she came over to work out their 'problems'. It appeared to my mind that it might give some pleasure to say that to Jonathan, however, the pleasure was unidentifiable, along with the reprecations, and it also appeared to be a slight ego trip, thus it was not worth carrying out.) People (especially girls) seem to be obsessed with havi ng people attracted to their bodies, but the way backfires. (or maybe it doesn't.)

Looking at some of the posters hanging in the dorm gives me the Holden Caufield feeling. Why are these people putting trash up? Why are the people willing to pose for that, and why do they blaspheme swimming as such? Sports Illustrated does a swimsuit issue - why not a swimming issue? Swimming is a great sport, in fact it is the best sport, but people seem more attracted to the attire than to the actual sport. Unfortunately, they even mess up on the attire, and picture people in bikinis - things whi ch are impossible to swim or dive in. Diving is the second coolest sport. It's in a pool. I went to the Lambda Sigma informational meeting today. I walked in with an ex-diver, then as I was there, I saw someone with a swimming sweatshirt, chased after her, and found out she was a diver. Her body did look slightly different from a swimmer, but still looked well-toned. Fat, out of shape people are extremely annoying. Their condition is usually caused by self-indulgence and laziness. Even people with the genetic metabolism problems can still achieve great tone with proper habits, so that is no excuse. Fatness is just one of the biggest turnoffs, just as athleticness is one of the biggest turn-ons.

Schools place too much weight on academic prowess at the expense of athletic stuff. I'm in three PE classes this semester and barely break a sweat. That in itself is not bad - outside activities are actually better at providing a full workout; unfortun ately, many people do not participate in them. PE classes should be divided into two groups - conditioning, and coordination, and combination, with a requirement of at least one per semester, and a large number for graduation. These classes are some of the few that will be directly applicable to future life. Many of the other academic classes are purely bunk, essentially state-required wasted time. Foreign language should be a requirement. Political Science is a nice requirement, but people should be able to test out of all of it. Education is making a huge mistake be trying to keep everyone with similar degree plans and hours to obtain degrees in various different subjects. Instead, people should be required to take a number of free electives to b roaden their perspectives, and a number of classes to become proficient in their field.

Back on the subject of people, they talk to much. Often they talk when they don't have much to say. (Reminiscent of a Toad the Wet Sprocket song.) I try to shut up when I realize a conversation has gone to pot. However, I notice many occasions when I try to drag it on for an excessive amount of time. People also tend to be too indirect, and often ask questions that they already know the answers too. Sometimes, this verification procedure is beneficial, but more often it is just to say something to someone else. Maybe there is a much deeper level to speech communication that is radiated differently by different peoples voices. Or maybe people are just infatuated by the speech process. Anyway(4), sometimes I just feel like I'm in an ultra-social m ood talking to all sorts of people. One problem I have with that is pinpointed the people I said different things to. I can usually get the location down, but can't see the person or hear their voice. Thus, I have to search my memory for who was at tha t location at that time. It usually works great for someone's house, but phone conversations become impossible to identify. Also sometimes, there are things that I really need (or want) to get out, but the conversation never seems to flow there, thus I never say it.

Oh well, I am nearing the end of this page, thus it looks like a great time to stop. If I go on, I'll probably make myself even more uncertain about my philosophy of life. (I wonder if I saw something like this in the future, if it was totall unexpecte d? which would be better? Dire Straits.)

- Jeremy Hubble 2/9/93

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